Chibi nations and their parents
by Holy Roman Empire
Summary: All the Ancient world empires have their annual meeting while one or two nations get the short end of the stick and have to babysit all the chibi nations.
1. Byzantium and Maya

Ancient Nations world meeting:

"WOULD ALL OF YOU JUST SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP? ROME, STOP HITTING ON THE WOMEN, GUAL AND CELTIC ISLES , STOP FIGHTING, MONGOLIA, STOP BEATING KEIVAN RUS WHEN BYZANTIUM IS NOT HERE, AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOTT, SCANDINAVIA,"

"What is it brother dearest?"

"Nothing, you are first to present your current status on your children."

A tall and handsome man stood up. His long blond hair was half in braids and half down. He and his brother Germania shared the same piercing blue eyes and stern expression. He wore many furs due to his cold environment and in his hand was a battle axe.

"Denmark is a little shit. Norway is learning magic from the trolls. Sweden wants to make Finland his wife when they are older. And Iceland is to precious for this world. They are better than all your brats."

He sat down ignoring the glares of the other parents.

"Celtic Isles, you are next."

"Scotland is growing up to be a strong young man. Ireland and Wales are getting along well enough. North Ireland is behaving himself and none of my children like their little brother England. All they do is fight and tease him. Just wait until he gets older, then he'll kick their arses. Gaul sucks."

"Gaul, refrain from killing her. You are up next."

"My young France is better than that uncivilized red head's son from the north."

"Keivan Rus, your turn to speak."

"Russia, Ukraine, and Belarus are not having good luck finding any friends. Germania, Prussia keeps attacking Russia and it makes him sad. At least the Baltics are having better luck making friends."

"Keivan Rus, I promise I will talk to Prussia, now, Mongolia."

"My China will rule the world. That is all."

"A disturbing thought. Rome."

"My little Italy is the most precious thing on this earth! With the ladies as a close second. Oh my sweet Italy is so good at painting, and cooking and is going to be the best of all of your spoiled brats."

"What about Romano or Seborga?"

"Who?"

"We all agree that Rome is a terrible parent. Native America."

"My sweet Kanata and Dyami are well behaved children. They do their chores and then they go fishing together. Last time that they went hunting, Kanata brought home a white bear. And they get along better then Celtic Isles's children."

"Carthage."

"Spain and Portugal are doing well. They know how to clean and that is good."

"China."

"My kids are mature."

"Alright. My turn. Holy Rome is a good child. Prussia is not. Switzerland and Austria do not get along and Liechtenstein is adorable. Not this meeting is at an end."

* * *

Russia was hiding from Belarus while Ukraine was crying over not knowing where her siblings were. Lithuania and the Baltics were playing with wooden horses in the corner. The older Kirkland brothers were picking on their little brother England with France. Spain was trying to get Romano to play with him and Portugal. Holy Rome was stalking a little Italy. Switzerland never left his little sister's side while Hungary and Prussia fought with Austria in the background. Some of the South Asian chibies were playing together and Dyami and Kanata were teaching Australia and New Zealand traditional Native American games.

"How much longer is the meeting gonna go?" Maya empire asked Byzantium, who was rocking a sleeping Mexico.

"How the hell should I know. I pray that Germania lets them get out early."

* * *

 **This is just for humor. If you are offended, don't read.**

 **Reviews are awesome.**

 **So...Indiana Jones or America Jones, which is better?**


	2. Rome and China

Ancient Nations world meeting:

"Scandinavia, you are first to present your current status on your children."

"Denmark is a little shit. Norway's magic is...something. Sweden still wants to make Finland his wife when they are older. And Iceland is to precious for this world."

He sat down ignoring the glares of the other parents.

"Celtic Isles, you are next."

"Scotland kicked Rome's ass. Ireland and Wales are getting along well enough. North Ireland is behaving himself. England has been learning magic also. Gaul sucks."

"Gaul, refrain from killing her. You are up next."

"My young France is better than that uncivilized red head's son from the north. Not only is he civilized, he is more handsome than eyebrows."

"Keivan Rus, your turn to speak."

"Russia has made friends with Native America's boy. Belarus and Ukraine are friends with Hungary and Leichtenstine. Germania, Prussia keeps attacking Russia and it makes him sad. The Baltics are making friends."

"Mongolia."

"My China will still rule the world. That is all."

"Again, a disturbing thought. Byzantium."

"Scandinavia is cool. I kicked Germania's ass, but I like his rules. Keivan Rus is a babe. Hey sweetheart. Mongolia, stop attacking my wife. The kids are awesome."

"Native America."

"My sweet Kanata and Dyami are well behaved children. They have made friends. Kanata with Prussia and Dyami with Russia."

"Carthage."

"Spain and Portugal are doing well. They know how to clean and that is good."

"Maya empire."

"My Mexico is the greatest and the others are mature."

"Alright. My turn. Holy Rome is a good child and is in love with Rome's crybaby grandchild Italy. Why, I have no idea. Prussia is still picking fight with Hungary. Switzerland and Austria do not get along and Liechtenstein is adorable. Now this meeting is at an end."

* * *

Russia and Dyami were playing in a corner with England. France, Spain, and Prussia were dragging Kanata around. Denmark was fighting Scotland, the two Ireland's, and Wales to impress Norway. It didn't. Iceland was with Hong Kong and the other Asian countries with a teenaged China. Sweden followed Finland around like a guard dog, making sure that Finland was safe at all times. Romano, Seborga, Portugal, and the Oceania children were playing the 'I have the worst parent ever.' Romano and Seborga were winning by a landslide. All the girls were at their own little corner with Austria. Switzerland was with his sister. And Rome was fangirling with Holy Rome about Italy.


	3. Keivan Rus and Native America

Ancient Nations world meeting:

"Scandinavia, you are first."

"They're all fine. They are going through a viking phase."

He sat down ignoring the glares of the Gual and Celtic Isles.

"Celtic Isles, you are next."

"I would appreciate it if you could keep your kids away from mine."

"And my France as well."

"Mongolia."

"My China invented paper."

"Byzantium."

"It's going good."

"Carthage."

"My house is clean."

"Maya empire."

"We just had a bountiful crop."

"Rome."

"I love my precious grandchildren."

"China the teenage angst."

"So immature. I found Japan."

"Alright. My turn. Holy Rome and Liechtenstein is good children. The others fight a lot. Now this meeting is at an end."

* * *

All of the children were asleep. Keivan Rus and Native America took them hunting, fishing, and while Keivan Rus told stories to the children, Native America braided the hair of anyone who had it long enough. The Nordics, England, France, Hungary, Belarus, Ukraine, they all had their hair braided.

"So, what do you think that your children will be like fully grown?" Native asked.

"I hope that they have a friend. Otherwise, it would be rather lonely."

"They all will be great one day."


	4. Germania and Scandinavia

Ancient Nations world meeting:

"Since the annual meetings between us make me want to stab someone, why don't we all just eat, relax and take a nap while we have the chance. Then we can get back to arguing with each other." Rome suggested and to his surprise, everyone was willing to participate.

* * *

Germania and Scandinavia were in charge of the children.

Prussia found the magic markers.

Denmark broke out the Legos.

Russia and Dyami teamed up in the food fight with Kanata as their secret weapon.

Romania, Norway, and England got together and started hexing people.

Australia and New Zealand somehow managed to summon an Orc and the Witch King.

Italy was kicking the Ottoman Empire's ass to the relief of Romano and the admiration of Holy Rome.

Mexico lost his...demonic dogish pet and it was found playing with Egypt's Ammut.

Japan was quietly using paint to creat anime.

While the adults were hiding, they were praying to anyone who was listening that the meeting would end soon.

* * *

"And that is Greece likes cats so much." Mama Greece finished her story.

The other parents were howling of laughter.

"Hey, did you hear that?"

"No one can see your fairies but you Celtic."

"No, I just heard a voice that was crying out for us to finish up the meeting so we can take our children home."

"All in favor of ending parent retreat to pick up the kids, raise your hand."

No hands were raised.

"I just love democracy." Rome said.

"So did Caesar and look what happened to him."

Somewhere in a daycare center, Germania and Scandinavia knew that they were screwed.


	5. Greece and Egypt

Ancient Nations world meeting:

"Since nothing got done last meeting, we are all going to work extra hard to get caught up to speed. Now blah blah…"

As Germania spoke some parents drifted off to sleep due to a lack of it.

* * *

Mama Greece and Mama Egypt were in charge of the children today.

Every child was given a kitten to keep and a puppy to play with. There were Pegasus rides and dingo petting. Archery contests which was a tie between Native America's children and Celtic Isles sons.

Once it was nap time, Mama Greece asked the sirens to sing them to sleep while Ammut and the Gorgans we put on guard duty for the children's protection.

Then the ladies got to gossiping about Rome And Germania and when they were going to 'get together'.


	6. Mongolia and Celtic Isles

Ancient Nations world meeting:

"Due to the many complaints in the suggestion box, we will have a day where we pretend like we are doing things that are productive when in reality, we don't do anything." Germania grouched.

"So we get to eat pasta and procrastinate?" Rome asked with puppylike eyes.

"Ja, we can procrastinate."

"How about we do one of those team trust exercises?" Gual suggested.

So many groans met her question.

* * *

"Mongolia, do you thing that you can reach my knife in my tunic?" Celtic Isles asked.

"I'll try." Mongolia strained against the ropes that bound him and the pissed off ginger.

"NOT THERE YE PERVERT!"

"Sorry, but we are kind of tied up at the moment."

"You did not just say that, I swear to the Fairy Queen."

XXXXXXXXX

"See, I told you that the corgis were the fairies preferred choice of transportation!" Wales proclaimed.

"None of us questioned you, little brother." Scotland whispered while rocking a sleeping England.

"Don't be so loud, ya wake the wee laddie." The twin Irelands chimed.

"Hey Prussia, if you think the Krampus is scary, you should see the Wendigo!"

"Dyami, you shouldn't say it's name! It will come after you and kill you!"

"No it wont! I'm the hero!"

"So what should we do with our Orc?"

"I vote that we go to Isengard so someone has to shout 'They're taking the chibis to Isengard!'"

"Brilliant."

"I made you this scarf little brother."

"Thank you big sister Ukraine!"

"I also got you this bow Belarus!"

"Thanks."

No one knows where the other chibis went. There are no security cameras in BC.


	7. Gaul

Ancient Nations world meeting:

"I vote we just order pizza and do karaoke."

To everyone's surprise, Germania was the one to suggest that.

* * *

"Alright children. Auntie Gaul is going to tell you how babies are born."

An uneasiness went through all of the children as they got the sense that they will never be the same.

* * *

"And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYY WILLLLL ALLLLLLWWWAAAAYYYYSSSSSSS, LOOve yooOOOOOoooouuuuuUUUU."

"SOMEONE STOP ROME BEFORE MY EARS BLEED!"

XXXXXXXXX

"Edelweiss, Edelweiss, Every morning you greet me. Small and white, clean and bright, bless my homeland forever..."

XXXXXXXXX

"Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon? Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grins? Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

XXXXXXXXX

"Oh my God!"

And then Aztec and Maya started singing a duet.

"It's tough to be a god, tread where mortals never trod..."

XXXXXXXXX

"Land of bear and land of eagle, land that gave us birth and blessing, land that calls us ever homeward, we will go home across the mountains. We will go home, we will go home, we will go home across the mountains..."

XXXXXXXXX

"Someone holds me safe and warm, horses prance through a silver storm. Figures dancing gracefully, across my memories..."

XXXXXXXXX

"HeeeEEEEEEEeyYYYYY young blood, DOESN'T IT FEEL LIKE OoouUUUURRRr Time is RUUUNNNNiiinnNNNNGGGGGG OUT! I'M GONNA CHANG YOU, LIKE A REMIX, THEN I'LL RAISE YOU, LIike a PHoeniX..."

* * *

"And then, after all of that, and if the mommy gets pregnant, the man and woman have to wait nine months for the birth. Which I will now tell you about now..."

The children were horrified. Even France.

* * *

"Guys, I know that the pizza just got here, but I feel a parental urge to go and protect my children's innocence." Keivan Rus worriedly said.

"You know what? So do I." Greece agreed.

"Same."

"Yes."

"Aye."

And the mother's fled from the room to their precious children.

"Well, more pizza for us." China said.


	8. Fixing the damage

Germania:

"Poor boys, I am sorry you had to hear that."

"Father, is...is that really how babies are made?" A timid Austria asked.

Germania looked around to see if Leichtenstine was within hearing distance.

"Yes, but you did not need to know that and if any one of you dares to tell your sister, I'll send you to the Krampus!"

Switzerland nodded, taking on the duty to protect his sister.

Holy Rome felt nauseated. If that is what childbirth was like, no. He couldn't do that to his poor Italy. The last thing that Holy Rome wanted to do was to cause her pain.

Austria and Prussia paled. They didn't want to have a visit from the Krampus.

"How are babies born daddy?" A sweet. Voice asked and Germania knew he was screwed.

Before his sons could answer, Germania said the first thing that came to mind.

"Mommies and daddies plant seeds in the garden and nine months after a harsh winter, they have a baby!"

As his daughter went off to play, he gave a look to his boys that said that if they told her otherwise, they were dead.

* * *

Celtic Isles:

"Where did you think you boys came from? A stork? That is exactly what happened and how you were born. Now, Scotland, please tell me that is going to be a phase."

A tall and gangly teenaged red headed Scotland proudly wore his kilt. "It's not a phase mum, it's who I am!"

"He made one for each of us." Wales groaned, wearing one too.

"Allister even made one for little Arthur." Ireland said as North Ireland held a toddler England, also wearing a kilt.

* * *

Keivan Rus and Byzantium:

"Oh my poor sweet babies! Momma is so sorry that you had to listen to that crazy nut job talk about indecent topics. You were not supposed to hear about that until you were older!" Keivan Rus fretted over the trembling Baltics, crying daughters, and a confused Russia.

"My poor little lambs!"

Byzantium got blankets to cover his children and hot chocolate to make them warm inside.

* * *

Scandinavia:

"Dad, why was Gual saying such things?" Denmark asked.

"Because the woman is crazy."

"Is that how all of us were born?" Iceland asked

"Yep."

"How painful is it?" Sweden asked.

"Well, the pain of it is like being burned alive."

All of the Nordics winced.

Sweden decided that if that was the case, he would not put Finland through that pain unless they both wanted a child. Sweden swore that he would protect his wife and that was what he was going to do. Even if it was from himself.

* * *

Maya and Aztec

The two great empires sat Mexico and the other Latin American countries down for a talk.

"Everything that you heard from the lady, toss it out of your minds. That is not how babies are born. The parents offer a sacrifice and the gods give the parents of they are good enough.

* * *

Native America

"Yes my poor sweethearts, I am afraid that is how you were born."

Dyami and Kanata did not speak for about two weeks after that.

* * *

Mongolia and China.

China sat his brothers and sisters down for their father, Mongolia to explain everything. China, being the oldest, already knew about this and wanted to be moral support. Whether it was for his father or siblings was unclear.

* * *

Carthage

"No that is not how babies are born. I will tell you when you are older or have a wife. Preferably when you have a wife."

* * *

It was two meetings later and none of the children could look each other in the eye. Well, the girls stayed away from the boys and the boys stayed away from the girls.

Except Hungary. They didn't know she was a girl.


	9. Carthage

"All right! Because I am the hero, I am in charge!" Dyami whispered shouted.

"Are you sure about this? I don't want to make them mad at us." Russia asked with the other young nations in agreement.

"Do you want to get caught, mate? Don't seam like a smart idea, but I'm in." Australia said.

"Alright, all I really need is one other person for this to work."

"Mother will not be pleased but I'm in." Russia joined.

Carthage did not know it yet, but the three young nations were going to commit the biggest prank yet.

* * *

"Are you feeling well, Hungary?" Austria asked.

The young warrior turned to face her friend. "I am fine, but I really want to punch Prussia in the face."

"Oh, ok." Austria shivered at the crazed look in her eye.

* * *

"Hey, Holy Rome! Have you confessed your undying love for Italy yet or is my awesome little brother to scared to proclaim his love for the woman he loves!"

"WHAT! WHO IN THE HELL LOVES ITALY! I WILL RIP YOU TO SHREDS IF YOU SO MUCH AS HURT MI FRATELLO! IS IT YOU YOU POTATO BASTARD!

"Fratello! Don't say that to Holy Rome!"

"Roma, that is not nice! Oh, you look so cute when you are yelling at people! You are adorable as a tomato!"

* * *

"HEY! NO ONE PICKS ON ENGLAND BUT US! WE ARE HIS BROTHERS AND THAT IS WHAT BROTHERS DO! IF YOU, A NON RELATIVE HURTS OUR LITTLE BROTHER YOU HAVE FOUR CELTIC WARRIORS SKILLED IN MAGIC AS WELL AS WEAPONS TO DEAL WITH!"

* * *

Carthage felt cold and the hairs on his neck stand up. For some reason he felt impending doom.

* * *

"That was a very productive meeting for once."

"I agree."

"Take them! Take them all! Especially Native America and Keivan Rus! Take your demon children!"

And Carthage took Spain and Portugal and ran.


	10. New mom Iberia

"We should welcome the new parent, Iberia, who is a parent to Spain and Portugal through the fact that she killed Carthage. Welcome frauline, I am Adalwulf and I represent Germania."

"I am Iberia, also known as Francesca."

"I am Shasta, Keivan Rus."

"Felix, Byzantium."

"Markus, Roman Empire."

"Megera, Ancient Greece."

"Nefertiri, Ancient Egypt."

"Wang Yao, China."

"Mongolia. You have no need to know my name."

"Magisi, Native America.

"Maya is my name and the empire I represent."

"Aztec, Thoctli."

"Brigitte, Gaul."

"Rosalyn. Celtic Isles."

"Loki, Scandinavia."

"If we skipped anyone, suck it up. The world does not revolve around you."

* * *

"So let me get this straight." Prussia began as all the chibis were surounding a very sad Spain and a shocked Portugal. "Your dad, Carthage was killed by this new fire lady Iberia claims to be your mother."

"Pretty much."

"That sucks, dude."


	11. Heaven

"Everyone, since we have all been killed by either our children or other parents, why don't we just put aside our differences and just check up on our little babies." Rome suggested.

With many excited parents in agreement, they watched as their children were in a world meeting.

In the chaos of curses, fist fights, pasta, declarations of freedom and awesomeness, they saw children asking for their parents to read them a bedtime story.

"Well, there is always room for improvement." Germania sighed.

"Not my France. He is perfect the way he his."

"Years after my death and those boys still will not stop fighting."

"Poor Matthew, at least he has Prussia. And America has learned that there are many things that can be hidden with a smile."

"I still don't see what Holy Rome sees in Italy."

"His name is Germany now and my Italy is a very sweet boy."

"I still don't understand how you two are seen as Spain and Portugal's parents when I am their rightful mother."

"Oh, shut up Hispania. At least you were not burned alive like I was."

"Well burning you alive was your only chance for a smoking hot body, Iberia." Rome said before he realized that he just burned Iberia. For the second time.

"Shit just got real. I'll give you ten pieces of gold if he wins, Native America."

"It's a deal, Maya."


End file.
